


That’s not our baby!(Josuke x Reader)

by BeefThisFreshMeat



Category: Jjba - Fandom, Jojo’s bizarre adventure, diamond is unbreakable, diu - Fandom, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Josuke doesn’t want to look like a teen dad, Reader just wanted to go to the store, Teen love, Two kids being mistaken as parents, that’s not our baby, the two are both kinda being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 12:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15509676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeefThisFreshMeat/pseuds/BeefThisFreshMeat
Summary: Josuke is left in charge of the ever so loveable insivible baby, and decides that in order to get help that he really needs he should go to someone he trusts. Mainly because he doesn’t want to look like a teen dad.





	That’s not our baby!(Josuke x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find this story/one shot along with any other JJBA one shots I make in my quotev.

Warning: Mentions of what it takes to make a baby, and very, very , very, awkward explaining that the reader did not shoot a mini hell spawn out of her hell shoot. Other than that it's nothing but fluff.

"Josuke,where did you find that baby?" 

(Name) was a simple stand user, she worked, she studied, she helped out around the community, she spent saturdays with her father and sundays with her friend Josuke, she was used to being asked to do favors. However this? This isn't what she expected when Josuke appeared at her door holding an oddly uncanny baby. The child cooing and shaking it's tiny fists while babbling nonsense.

"Did you get a girl pregnant? Why is that baby covered in makeup? Is that lipstick?" (Name) questioned, her eyes somewhat wide before she gazed back up at Josuke, who looked quite in shock himself he got stuck in this situation himself. However at (Name)'s accusations , he stuttered and stumbled while he shook his head furiously "No way! I'm a pure love kind of guy, you know that!" he started. "This is the baby that me and the old geezer found, we still haven't found the mother." Josuke sighed out "If she's stressed, she turns invisible." he added.

"If I wasn't so used to the bullshit that sprouts in this town I'd accuse you of being on drugs for saying that sentence." (Name) spoke with a blunt tone while crossing her arms and gazing down to the baby that Josuke held in his arms. She reached out slowly and grasped the tender being, holding it close to her bust while rocking her arms in a smooth manner, lulling the baby to sleep while the sunglasses slumped on the bridge of the child's nose, (Name) quickly fixing it while she turned her attention back to Josuke. "So, what do you want me to do?" she asked. She was willing to help out most if not everybody, she wanted to better herself after all. She moved to Morioh with her father after some trouble in Tokyo, so she was willing to help even if it meant she got exhausted by it. Although, she wasn't sure her friendship with local so called 'delinquent' Josuke was helping her image. 

"I need you to help me take care of it, Mr.Joestar is out doing something with Jotaro, and I can't be seen alone with a baby." Josuke spoke, seeming shaky with every word. "Why?" (Name) asked, quirking a brow. "You saw how YOU reacted! You thought I got some girl pregnant! what will others think? Me, a 16 year old delinquent, walking around with a baby? People are sure to think I did something like.. y-you know." Josuke admitted "You gotta help me, please, I'll owe ya-" (Name) cut him off by putting a hand over his lips and shushing him "I'll help, I'll help." she spoke calmly, before raising a finger at him "But you better believe you owe me, I mean, if they see me with a baby they're gonna think I pushed this thing out of MY baby maker and I am not in the mood for more rumors popping up about me." 

"You're a life saver, I promise this Sunday I'll make it up to you!" Josuke spoke, flashing her a toothy grin that always made (name)'s tough demeanor melt entirely. "Yeah yeah, you better." (Name) muttered. "I need to stop by the store, Mr.Joestar gave me some money, she made her last bottle invisible and so he needs a new one. It's a short walk, can you come with me?" Josuke asked, rocking back and forth on his heels in an almost nervous manner. (Name) quirked a brow at this, confused as to why he needed her to come along with him. If anything, she imagined he would have wanted her to stay behind with the baby. Yet she shrugged her shoulders, and followed Josuke without much question.

They were so focused on heading to the store, they didn't quite notice the stares they got from passerby's. (Name) cradling a baby in her arms walking alongside of Josuke no doubt brought suspicion. Josuke paused as he finally arrived outside of the family mart, and quickly turned to (Name) , giving her an almost apologetic smile. (Name) quirked a brow once more "What?" she asked. "Okay! Here's the money! Go and buy that bottle!" he chirped almost innocently, as if trying to get her to hurry up and go inside.

"Oh what!? Why do I have to go in?" (Name) whined, stamping her foot down in protest while Josuke shoved the money into her chest. "Like I said before, (Name), if I go in there asking for baby supplies they're bound to think I got some girl pregnant! I already look like a punk as is. Everyone would think I was foolin' around!" Josuke explained "And what about me? I'm some outsider from Tokyo! They're gonna think I came here and started being a floozy with other dudes and didn't even think to use a god damn condom! I've never even held hands with a dude besides my dad, I don't need rumors starting up that I spread my legs for some guy!" (name) argued, handing the money back to Josuke. 

"I'm not going in there! Come on just do this favor for me?"

"No way, no how!"

"Come on I'll owe you even more!"

"Nu-uh, let them think you're the dude who forgot to put a condom."

With their bickering, the baby began to cry in (Name)'s arms, her body soon began to fade out of reality and turn somewhat invisible. "Oh no, it's turning invisible, (Name), hurry and calm her down!" Josuke stuttered, pointing to the crying child in (Name)'s arms. (Name) nearly panicked, before rocking the baby in her arms and shushing her silently "There there, calm down, calm down you weird tiny thing. Calm down." she whispered in hushed voice, although she had little to no knowledge of babies in the first place. This was enough to calm down the sobbing child and soon she returned back to her fully visible form. Cooing softly as her tiny hands grasped (Name)'s shoulders and began to play with her hair. "Oh boy," (Name) sighed, before she turned to Josuke "Okay, compromise, let's both go inside." she said. "Deal." Josuke added, the two of them shaking hands before turning their heel and heading into the store.

"Josuke.. I don't know crap about babies." (Name) whispered "What the hell kind of bottle are we supposed to buy her?" (Name) added on, giving Josuke a hesitant glance. It was then that Josuke's face paled, and he gulped a lump down in his throat "I.. I don't know, is there any specific bottle babies need?" He scratched his chin, and glanced to (name) nervously. (Name) shrugged in response, her eyes wide. "We're screwed if we buy the wrong one." She grunted to Josuke. The two stood there, fumbling in place, before they eventually approached the counter where the store's worker seemed to be fidgeting with the cash register.

"Excuse me."

(name) called out, making the worker turn his head up and look to the two. He glanced between Josuke and (name), before his gaze turned to the baby in (Name)'s arms. "We need help, what is the best bottle for a baby of this age?" (Name) asked, rocking the baby in her arms to keep the young one calm. The shop worker stared for a moment, before chuckling lowly "You two didn't do much research before getting down and dirty did ya?" he laughed out in his old gravelly voice. Silence filled the room, before (name) and (josuke) exchanged a glance, and then realized only now what this looked like when they walked in together.

"Wait, no!" (Name) stuttered "We aren't a couple, this isn't our baby!" (Name) stumbled before Josuke cut in "Y-yeah, we're just baby sitting!" Josuke shook his head a bit , trying to deny the claim that it was him and (name) that brought this baby into the world. "oh ho no need to feel ashamed!" The shop worker added, "Really, this isn't ours. I haven't even kissed anyone!" She turned to Josuke with a wide eyed look "We're just really close friends! Right?" she asked. Josuke nodded "Y-Yeah, and even if we were a couple I'm sure we would have used protection!" This earned Josuke a panicked grunt from (name) "Don't make it worse!" she stuttered. 

The shop worker silenced the two by waving his hands in a 'calm down' manner "Oh I'm just pulling your legs, here, I'll get you the best bottle for the baby." he said. Turning the corner of the desk and grasping a small bottle with a rubber handle, before setting it up at the register. Josuke quickly paid, as if rushing the situation. It was obvious the two wanted to get out of there. Once the baby bottle was placed inside of the bag, and all was paid, the two teens rushed out quicker than they could realize. They huffed, standing outside of the mart with wide eyes and a blush spread across their faces. They exchanged a glance, before both looking down at the ground. Silence filled the space between the two, unsure of what to say.

"....You know, I'm not that bothered." Josuke spoke

"Yeah, me neither." (Name) stated.

"I guess it's because it's you and not some other gal." Josuke rubbed the back of his neck.

"Same here." Name responded. "Maybe because we're such good friends." she added.

"Are we.. ya know, just friends? or..?" Josuke asked.

They stared at one another, their eyes locking contact for a moment, before (Name) suddenly shoved the baby back into his arms "You owe me big time JoJo. You better make it up to me this Sunday." she snapped her fingers at him, and turned her heel grumbling.


End file.
